RTS (Real Time Strategy)

Last night I played a game on AOE 2 HD, against a moderate (new) AI on random map. I was the Brits and the AI was the Celts. I advanced to Feudal and Castle slower than the AI but my Imperial was good at 35 minutes. At one point I thought I was going to lose but I held on and eventually AI resigned.

What I learned was that because I didn’t know what the AI was doing back home, I had fears that it still had troops hidden. Like in my current fight, there’s still room for victory, as long as I hold tight and find another way around the fight. NEVER, never give up.


My Own Creed

1. Others’ lives do not affect yours. They have a different family background than you, so you cannot compare your life with theirs.

2. Do not make rules for yourself. Laws are laws but rules are little obstacles you set for yourself to avoid doing certain things.

(to be continued…)

2013 in Review

2013 was another jumps and downs for me. It’s always been my signature. In retrospect, there are many things to note of.

People ask me how I am. I can’t answer I’m great with all honesty because I am never satisfied with my life. Success and pressure are correlated.

Most notable is that there are more shows for me to take part in. It’s ashame I can’t participate all of them because of work. Ironically my work is most suitable to be flexible in setting our own schedule. Also I’ve started looking for bands to take part in. HOpefully w’ell make something happen.

Work-wise it’s another year of making through the year. More people are getting sick and claims.

Another notable event was that I met or rather, I thought I met the girl of my interest but things never go as planned or expected.

But, I am just grateful things happened the way they did, rather good or bad, because it’s bound to happen. The things that I have achieved are consequences of what I did leading up to it. Perhaps this relationship are not meant to be at the end. Still it happened for a reason and it means I’m progressing in life. I have learned a lot these days. So, the most important things in my life right now: music, career, soul-mate in search, returning those who have helped me and obviously a better life-style. We can never have a stress-free life, especially when we age. That’s why naming myself “zero stress” is very artistic I think.

Haven’t had any…

girl luck for a while. I thought I had a colleague from another district interest or interested but I was wrong.

She entered just about two months – met her at some training session. Never got her out. I learned in sales that if you can’t get someone out, they’re not interested in you, not the product. Maybe that’s why.

The value of sacrificing abundance for scarcity

I have been playing tennis for couple weeks now. Before mostly just smack the ball as hard as I could, hoping it’d end up spectacular – a nice winner down the line. Today I took it more seriously and although sacrificing some power, my control and hence angle was more easily adjustable.

In the case of playing mini games, variation of the tiebreak (except with ten points and five serves each side), I came back six points in a row to make it 9-8 then falling 9-11 in the deuce. There was much positives to gain from there. I definitely had the ability to fight for every ball and return as much as I could. This was exactly what the mindset I need for my work.

For work, telephone approach is no longer a bother. With all the positive thoughts and a thriving heart, rejection is only motivation and inspiration. Quality matters more than quantity.

My job now is to gather up all the numbers and names I got from the random list, gather all the existing prospects’ numbers and their data and neatly distribute them into excel for easier management.

Moreover, all the numbers from cards or other lists need to be entered in. New numbers need to be entered in my not priority. Then I can mass produce other numbers.

Finally, my job from time to time is to call on buddies and see how they are doing.

Work Life

I’m gonna share some of my experiences and thoughts about my work life since June. I don’t care if people read it or not. I rather them just pumping into this by accident. Hence, I’ve put it in this blog instead.

School and work are completely different. I’ll tell you why. When you work you face people who you deal business with and I don’t mean literally. I meant your relationship with them are merely business-only – nothing more. When you face your family or friends, you’re back to your own self.

But if you are someone like a Financial Planner, you role isn’t just a worker. You’re a social worker, actually. It gets more complicated that way. The way you behave, including how you talk, what your body language is, etc. will affect your reputation. People have a misrepresentation of such profession because they think it’s not for their own good but for the agent’s. It all depends on how you treat others.

I haven’t been in this field for long but long enough to see changes in my life. I have to mature rather quickly than others because you are talking about insurances or retirement planning to people above your age mostly so you got to act professionally, speak professionally.

People say this job takes friends away from you. I disagree. It’s about how you treat them. Most certainly, they may not like it when you try to sell them. It does still depend on the way you approach it. Most agents who screw up most likely approach their friends wrong. It’s not about the service he or she is providing but the attitude or image that is presented to the client.

Online Dating

When you ask girls out you aren’t really close with, it’s really hard to get them out. A friend did say that you gotta talk till she is comfortable with being around you first.

Not gonna go into why I think that doesn’t guarantee anything. I will just discuss why it’s hard to talk them out.

To a girl you haven’t seen before, you have to find something to talk about. Certainly you need to talk to an extent before you can try ask her out.  When you are near that point, you would notice they will unlikely to respond. Alternatively, they will continue talking with whatever you guys had left off before you asked her out. In that case you are forced to forget about it.

Let’s say she asks you about it and you tell her. She still can ignore you. Even if she’s okay about it and you have it all planned, she can still ignore your calls, pretend to forget about it, block you from messenger and so forth. So, nothing is guaranteed. even if you’ve gone out n number of times together you can still lose her.

The moral of the story is, it never ends. The main problem is getting over the hump to get yourself some confidence in success. This doesn’t imply all girls you meet are like that. It’s just that the majority have trouble meeting strangers, especially those met online.

There’s not much one can do in this situation. It’s like shooting an arrow at a range very far away. You even have trouble looking at the range yourself, let alone hitting bull’s eye. Consider yourself lucky if you get the next step.

…If by any chance you asked her and she gave no response, just simply take it back and either say ‘maybe we shall wait’ or something.


Flaws in our outside world

A few thoughts on death and funerals.

Without going into religions too deeply or stating my own opinion on what exists beyond this world, I will only comment on the science and state some but limited history.

We don’t know how we came to this world – so we won’t know where we will go in the end.

To me, a funeral is but a ‘form’ to finalise thoughts on and remember the particular. One kind of chinese funeral has a lot of different ‘things’ to do. It seems like most people already believe in heaven or hell and that came from way back, obviously from churches. I can only assume that the chinese versions are based on their own ‘religion’ because they believe in the underworld.

Many people would believe in that ‘form’ due to tradition or words of mouth from parents or relatives, if not ancesters. One may not believe in a particular ‘form’, yet he or she will follow whichever ‘form’ was used previously.

Speaking of this ‘form’, I’d want to bring in some physics. In our world, fire burns anything into ashes and hence is destroyed from this world. Obviously there is no scientific proof this goes to another dimension. Even if it does, who can guarantee it retains the form of the object PLUS arrive to the person to be concerned.

Such religious acts still exist because founders or followers strongly believed in its truth. Thus, the cycle continues in spreading it down to the further generations. The strictness in the rulebook maintains this truth. Once there is any adjustment to the rules, it breaks the truth in the ‘form’. In the chinese version, the lower generation eldest son has to fulfill certain tasks in the funeral. If there is no son then another son from the family then the next closest one (regardless if non-direct-blood) takes over.

> But it seems like the newer generations will simplify more of these types of ‘form’ and subsequently weakens the whole tradition/religion etc. This brings up the question of whether following it has any point anymore. Some may say it is always better to do something than nothing. I think personally that if we find out we had been doing the same thing wrong for thousands of years, it would have been one of the greatest mistakes of (wo)mankind. Yet, people don’t care.

Not many people care so much about philosophy. They may know what it is but will not research into it further.

Another problem I have with these kinds of ceremonies is that you don’t do it the minute they pass away. Most likely you have to book and wait for a spot. So unless these ‘religions’ have explanations on what happens when a person dies or where he or she will go, I highly suspect some flaw in it, perhaps in terms of the timing. Presuming that you regain your spirit, who can guarantee that by the time you actually do it, the person in concern actually returns and follows everything? Further presume that there is hell and dead people have to go through it, then how does anyone know in those ‘religions’ even if you clear the ‘road’ for him or her that he or she will have an easier time with the ‘road’.

Finally, if everything is false, then we those guys have ben doing for thousands of years is a waste of time.


Relationship – Aftermath

The number six is like both a lucky and an unlucky number. Everything started off with 26 and ends with a 6.

After the sixth of October, I will have a new life. I will learn from this relationship, both positive and negative. I’ll take the positive out in here at this blog, and leave the negative inside myself for self-assessment.

Maybe only close ones will know… others will not. At first I felt used, played, so forth; now it’s more like the John Isner vs Nicolas Mahut Wimbledon 2010 first round match, where the fifth set ended at 70-68 Isner, because the loser, though lost, will only feel disappointed and perhaps depressed at the loss at that time. With a few days or maybe even weeks, Mahut will look back thinking what an achievement he and Isner have done. Similarly, I will now look back and be proud – not because of how it ended, but everything.

Nothing is going to last for eternity. Not even time. It’s good something like this happens because I learn more from failures than successes. It reminds me of blogging again, and thinking seriously about my career. Whether her intentions were genuine, forced or pretended, best of luck for her. It does not matter anymore, nor will it change the future.

This reminds me of a saying I have, that a white piece of paper is as pure as it can be. Until a pen mark is made on it, it is forever there. When you are in a relationship and say you joke about breaking up. If the other person takes it serious (and hopefully he or she does, because this is no joke) then the joke implies the truth. You make a (false) pen mark on the page and you say sorry I did not mean it. If you white it out, the mark is still underneath; it does not remove it. Hence, even if she did not want to, the feeling I got after was true and irreversible.

What remains true is that family-care is the most important, because they won’t go away for no reason, won’t suddenly say we’re not matched so let’s give it an end. There’s no walking away from your family because they’re there forever.


After talking with a few friends about it, I hear a lot of different views: from very interesting ones to non-views. Different ideas as to the cause of this occurence. The most important one was that simply I was not the type for her. Of course, it can be said conversely. Maybe my lifestyle is different or my complex thoughts contradict hers or whatever. Or maybe simply it was not “right” to begin?

That’s up to the eye of the beholder.


Relationship – How to start.

When one isn’t rational, things don’t go right when you get back to being rational. Relationships are that kind of thing. If you start it off in a messy environment, unless you remain in that condition, the relationship’s gonna break eventually. It’s true that e^x raises like e^x and falls like e^x, ie., the faster it comes the faster it goes. I asked each other if I care about once having it or having it forever. I said I think once having it is meaningful enough because nothing lasts anyway.

Now when it’s over, it seems short but it came quick anyway. I look back… I think yeah, it’s a little too short and it’s a bit disappointing, but the process is really what matters. I just think that next time it’s best not to be somebody else other than yourself, especially when you have a few drinks because when you’re back to your normal self, you see the relationship a little differently, if not a lot.