Enigma

Life is a game, or rather, an acting game. It’s either you are the actor, or you are the director. The actor is the passive form, while the active is the director. As a director, you direct yourself how you want to behave in front of others… and the actor is to act a particular role (not necessarily him/herself) after the director begins the circumstance. We tend to switch roles a lot during conversations. A talks to B, therefore A is the director, while B is the actor. B is basically reacting his emotions back to A but of course there is no truthfulness in human beings. We never express ourselves honestly, like Bruce Lee had wanted people to do. But because we don’t do this, we are always acting, in order to not ‘hurt’ others, which I think is arbitrary. The word ‘hurt’ has various meanings, especially meanings in context. I say this because different people view ‘hurt’ differently. Some may think, it is best to be honest and say whatever, instead of hiding it, which hurts more. Others may think that, honest does not exist in human beings, therefore, it is best to not say those words.

Now here is the thing: are we supposed to be the director and actor all the time? Or can we disregard all the fake shit? I think, in the pessimistic perspective, that as long as we exist, we will not be honest to others. Is there a way to be honest to each other? Well, I don’t see this happen within families, friends or relationships. Maybe I shouldn’t criticise the relationships part until I am certain of what I am saying. Let us turn to what my pessimstic view.

As the title suggests, it is about engima, or mystery. This happens frequently, yet obscure. It happens to everyone but we are unconscious of it. We see people, regardless of who they are, we put on an acting mask, and be whoever person you are not naturally. When we come to people we know, we talk like we have known for a long time but because we have a mask, we pretend there is something to talk about when really there isn’t. When positioned with someone close, whether it is genuinely close or not, we put on the same mask. You may judge whether your friend is putting on the same mask or not, which prevents you from removing that mask. With a close friend, you are more with yourself, but at the same time, ironically, you cannot be yourself because the more you express honestly, the more you wonder whether that is what’s behind the mask, because sometimes when you express spontaneously, you are still not expressing like you would when you are alone. The most honest situation you can be in is when you are alone. That is when you can honestly express yourself. That is when you need not a mask, because there is nobody else to show to. With a ‘close’ friend, and by that I mean non-genuinely close friend, or something who holds the title of being a close friend but really hasn’t been close for a lengthy period. These friends can be those who you have taken breaks from, or schedules fail to match or whatever. You guys will act like you were still close way back when, but since I said ‘act’, that means it’s a mask, regardless of how well you put on the show. When you guys depart, you remove the mask and go on with your lives.

These are a sample of situations that can occur in reality. And I say reality because it’s better to write something practical than something which isn’t, otherwise, it’s pointless. There are, of course, many more cases in which we put up an acting mask. Since it is an inevitable part of human beings, here is my theory of acting, or living, if you want to call it that:

Engima, a form of the acting mask. By definition, it means a person who is mysterious and doesn’t show much. That is exactly my point. Though it might be obvious by definition, it isn’t really, because it just tells you what it is, but not how it is, or how you should be. Enigma is a good form of the mask because in a way it isn’t a mask because it’s an unmask mask, or a mask unmask. To not share/show any of your feelings or emotions, symptoms of your emotions or any details of your life, is what I call enigma. When placed along with a stranger, aquaintance, or a friend (genuine close friends are separate), all you need to do is to tell as little as possible to them about anything that hints your feelings, emotions, or state of your life. When asked upon a certain question, be as ambiguous as you can be, but not more, or not exaggerate it. It is okay to tell some, but not all. Tell enough so that you can answer their questions but at the same time those people remain unanswered, or, they still have questions to ask that they wanted you to answer as your first answer.

For example, if they asked you ‘what’d you do today?’ and you said ‘I went out,’ you have basically answered them at the minimum level, but they expected an answer of at least mid-level, perhaps ‘Oh, I went to the store to buy some food.’ But to me, that is already too much. You are revealing or exposing too much information about yourself. Although you may doubt that he or she will harm you in any way with that information, but as long as you are uncertain of that person’s intentions, it is better to protect yourself first.

Enigma can also preserve attraction or interest of a particular person. The more you reveal to the person, the more they know, which means the less they need to know more. This causes them to ask you less questions, which means they are less interested-might not in all cases but this is generally the case. How fun is it when there are fewer questions asked? Not as fun, fresh, or attractive as the initial encounter I suppose. As I said, leave an open-ended answer to the other side of the conversation and he or she will have to ask again, which leaves opportunity for the next encounter, or date.

Yes, it is difficult to do this, but it makes everything more interesting. Don’t take it for granted that people actually care for you. It is better expect that their questions have intentions than care, because ‘care’ is an stepping stone for one’s future purposes. Nobody will care unless they care for themselves first. When they care at one point, they are renewing themselves a spot some point in the future, so they can ask you for help. You must care for yourself and no one else can do that except yourself. Anyway, the moral of the story is, act appropriately, because life is a game.

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