More Thoughts

I am on campus right now and I just read a friend’s blog entry, which I spent over 30 minutes typing up a response. And I thought I should quote some of them here:

First, it is about tradition:
“I do not like to follow tradition because the traditional definition of any word is defined through one perspective. For example, the word ‘good’ is defined singularly, or, to have only one ultimate meaning. There may be different interpretations of the same meaning, hence what we call meaning from a context. Thus, I do not like to define ‘good’ necessarily as what the world defines it.”

Second, about what happened roughly 40 minutes ago:
“I just happened to see the back of the girl on campus, probably 15 minutes or so ago. I see her on her phone (again). And I think to myself: I was right! (right as in right to forget and move on.) This is mainly due to my sensitive feelings. When I saw her on the phone, immediately I pictured her talking with a guy. In chinese, it’s like wearing a green hat – definitely not a good feeling. It is like, you go out with her, you pursue her, and you do all these things to make her like you. In the end she does not appreciate all those you have done, and you see her going out with other guys at the same time; EVEN if they are just friends. This solidifies my magma-like feelings into coal (ie., settling down to solid form from soft to hard) and I can say that after taking some time off her, this feeling yet remains, I can certainly say that I have my final say on my decision, which is to move on. ”

Third is about tone of voice and personality changes (from that friend’s blog):
“I am no longer faking myself. I do not have to appease another girl just because I want her to like me. I want her to like who I am, not who I pretend. I no longer want to pretend to be nice when I actually don’t want to. I’ve learned in TaeKwon-Do that I have to be honest at all times and also be courteous. But if my courtesy is not honest, then what goes first? A lie that you are nice, or the fact that you’re honest when you aren’t being nice?”

Finally, this has to do with my previous entry entitled “A blog for a friend”, about planning out a conversation, which, has some relevance to fate:
“It doesn’t have to be a conversation, it could be planning out a date, or even a trip to the mall. I think I said something about fate, or have I not. But anyway, if I haven’t already I will, soon. The point is, fate is everything external to you. So, you are part of fate in my life. You get to control what to say (or not) to me but I don’t – meaning, this so-called ‘planning’ applies to any aspect of life where you cannot control those external factors. Any part of life is actually fate because I believe you cannot even control or predict yourself. So, my conclusion to that idea is, it still works even if it is not a conversation because if you don’t have high expectations, you are generally a happier person. If you don’t plan out things detailedly (ie., planning out whether a certain traffic light will turn out to be red or green), things go smoother than they seemed like at first. Just like in the traffic light example. If you planned all of them to go green, which is possible but rare, and if there is one red, you’re dissatsified, and that could have ruined your day. If otherwise, you had no intention of thinking that way, whatever fate gives you (red or green), you will still think neutrally and go on with whatever you planned (ie. going to the mall).”

Now, an additional thought is a response to Ceeson’s blog entry entitled “Childish to Mature”. The thought refers back to my third point from above. Yes, I do that too. Now, being nice I think depends on whether you are honest and sincere or not. If it is a co-worker or your employer, that’s different, because those are only mutual relationships. In heterosexual relationships, namely a guy and a girl, heavy feelings are imposed and I think you just got to be honest. When I read ‘no longer does that happen’, I immediately thought, that’s natural and not necessarily good or bad (see first point above, on traditions).

Lastly, loving truly. I realised now, liking a girl more than she likes you is an affliction. You feel the pain when she doesn’t like you, or rather, when she doesn’t seem to pay trivial details to you. If you are insensitive, you are fine, because you won’t care about those minute details that she behaves that potentially make you feel bad. For me, they do, so I realised that I should not like a girl more than she likes me. That is why I am remaining to be cold to some, and warm to others whom I care for as a friend. Like I was saying earlier, if there’s a girl where you initially like as a potential girlfriend and not a friend alone, it is difficult to revert to normal friends where you will always see her as someone you have affections for. Same here, every time I see her, namely this previous time I just saw her, jealousy or even enviness played a huge role. I cannot remain as a normal friend, though I said that to her. I can only forget. Nevertheless, this is still a valuable lesson and an unforgetable experience.

Next time, until next time, shall I be better.

. . . and strive for perfection

. . . to become the perfect saint.


  1. chubbyapple says:

    if practice makes perfect…and nothing in this world is perfect, then why bothering practicing?

    regards to the traffic lights….I think that example is…not really applicable because people drive unconsciously…people don’t plan ahead with light signals, they just go by whatever that signal is…whether it be red-yellow-green, and sometimes they are sooo used to the norm they speed through it all. =)

  2. Ceeson says:

    well perfect is just like the asymptote of the world …
    with practice you can get close to perfect … but never reach it …
    my thoughts on this topic …

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